I found this recently-something i typed last year! Hope you find it useful even though i’m posting it many months late!

At the beginning of June one evening i was praying for my husband and our marriage once the children were settled down for the night. Sometimes we just need reminding to not merely live our life with our spouse but to invest time in them, particularly in prayer. Marriage is vital. It is so important that our marriages are places where God is because it is a direct picture of the Church and Jesus being husband and wife. After praying and pondering i believe God reminded me of what we had stitched into our wedding ring pillow. It reads ‘with all my heart i will serve you’. When our ring pillow was being made we were adamant that this be stitched on because we knew how important it was to remain in a place of service. We knew that we had to commit to always putting the other person first instead of ourselves. By putting your spouse first it gives way to anything that might create division or contention. After this i was also reminded of a video i had been sent a couple of weeks before. I hadn’t watched it yet but i decided i was going to follow the prompt and watch it there and then. God’s timing is always perfect. Here are the notes i made whilst listening to it. The speaker was Jack Hibbs and amazingly he was speaking about marriage! This is what he said:

God is the author of marriage. He knows how to apply the Word. When we are obedient to His Word we experience freedom.

Colossians 1:9+

We need to avoid pitfalls and traps in our marriage. We need to be disciples of Jesus and that means counting the cost as opposed to walking in deception in our walk with God. God loves marriage.

Matthew 5 – love your enemies, bless those who curse you etc

Divorce is becoming more and more common. Contracts are being broken and lives are being torn. Our marriages are witnesses to those non-believers around us. If our marriage is no better than those in the world, non-believers are not going to be drawn to Jesus. In Christ we should be able to keep our marriages together.

STOP and THINK about who we really are – Eph 3:23 – stop and realise you fall sort of the glory of God – stop being critical about your spouse because you alone fail as a human being to walk in perfection. We have to submit to and follow Jesus, not our spouse.

Rom 5:8 – your own sin put Jesus on the cross and you are responsible for that. You are not responsible for your spouse’s sin. Remembering this should help us to approach our spouse, not judge them. I must apply the Bible to my husband – feed Him scripture and pray for him.

Mark 9:35 – marriage is not designed to bring happiness in itself. Marriage is to bring two people together to create family. It is not about what we feel. Emotion and hormones cannot be trusted. It is a spiritual union created by God and the world tries to tear it apart, making fun of it and degrading it. We are servants to our spouse. Make a decision to love and serve because that is what God wants. When we obey God He rewards us and our marriage is fruitful. Realign your thinking and remember that God saved me willingly even in my own sin.

Remember we do not belong to ourselves. We belong to God ultimately. 1 Corinthians 6:20. We also belong to our spouse. Our marriage is a ministry; an opportunity to serve.

I was struck by how the two tied in; what God reminded me off and what i was listening to as i sat hearing Jack Hibbs. It is amazing when God speaks to us like this. I would encourage you all to remember to serve your spouse. No matter how we feel, whether they ‘deserve’ it, regardless of how perfect you think you might be yourself, whether you think you have the time or not…the list goes on…let’s just choose to serve instead of having expectations and by serving we learn to love as Jesus does.

Serving Your Spouse